Roll up! Roll up! What have we here today? Come see! Come see! The coughs and sighs! The lows and highs! And let us merry be! Gather round and round! Tell the doctor all your ills! I'm all ears so let me look! Oh, this can't be good you seem all shook. Tell me what has happened, dear. Don't mind my hand upon your knee.
Congregate, young gentlemen I'll weave a tale of woe. This young woman's lonely. And this sad girl is low. But we are learned all We know to cure the ails A touch! A pill! A tincture! They'll be fit to please. But all who's in the square today I'll give a front row seat! To this new magic cure That can fix her up a treat. Strap her in boy, nice and tight. Sweets, this won't hurt a bit! Lower the cap upon the head I'll flip this switch, lightening quick!