Wanting
Wanting realitystruggles stories
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lydiauthor
lydiauthor Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
Wanting — far from receiving.

Can you relate?

Wanting

Have you ever wanted something so strongly, that you loose all knowledge of how to even start grasping for it? So you sit there, and stare, and think about the thing you want most.

All you can do is think about that colourful day, the mornings, afternoons and evenings spent doing only what you love. A stranger with your face, living in a land that you are so far from.

“How could that ever be me?” Is the question you ask yourself daily, instead of, “How can I get there?”

But you know that you should be looking at the steps and not the goal. You know you should be asking yourself, “What’s the next step to get to that land?” But each time you sit down, or stand up, or move to try, you feel like you actually move two steps behind.

There are moments, pulses, in your life where you work so hard and feel like you’re moving forward. Your passion takes on the image of wings and seems to fly, people smile at what you do and grasp for it and as they do, you only feel more strongly like giving your content and pieces of your time away to them.

You climbed and climbed, to reach the point where the only way is down. You realize those wings, those smiles on the publics face were illusions. Dreams. Hopes, that are fiction.

Will I ever be a writer, with strong words, elaborate paragraphs and moving stories? Will my wings ever not be an illusion? Will my hopes no longer be part of a fiction book, but rather a biography in my name?

Will the walls of my future be filled with words, handcrafted by me and loved by more hearts than one? Is the connection between my mind and fingers strong enough to survive in this narrow-pathed world?

Instead of doing, I sit and think. And I flatline.

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