chains, a poem on OCD
chains, a poem on OCD  ocd stories
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luxeish
luxeish on the verge of a mental breakdown tbh
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
TW: This has mentions of self-harm

chains, a poem on OCD

TW: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND SUICIDE

A quick word- I suffer from something called Suicidal OCD. (I am NOT at risk for suicide or any self harm.) I am currently on medication for it, but sometimes it can get hard.

If any of you suffer from anything like i describe in this poem, i urge you to GET HELP. I was OCD symptomatic for 5 years before my intrusive thoughts became suicidal, and when it happened, i didn't have many of the tools that I needed to get over the disorder. Even today, I'm still not 100% over my OCD.

OCD is not a joke.

(starting the poem now)

it starts small.

it starts small. a whisper, heard through layers of concentration

"you're going to kill yourself."

i try to ignore it.

i try to ignore it. it replicates.

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

i can't focus.

i can't focus. she's returned, tightening my bonds and whispering in my ear

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

i can't hear anything over her whispers

i can't hear anything over her whispers other thoughts are forced into silence

i can't hear anything over her whispers other thoughts are forced into silence fear, cold and bright, hits me like a wall and i am trapped.

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

i am mute

i am mute i cannot tell her to stop

i am mute i cannot tell her to stop the chains around my wrist tighten once more and the tears come

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

I cannot move

I cannot move I cannot think

I cannot move I cannot think She will not leave

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself.""you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

it overwhelms me

I

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

WANT

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

OUT

"you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself." "you're going to kill yourself."

but i won't.

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