foggy thoughts
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lotusmystiekwattpad - @eadaion
Autoplay OFF  •  5 months ago
a short moment, in which i try to explain my struggle.

foggy thoughts

by Lotus

I sometimes feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside. I cry my eyes out at night, laugh with my friends in the morning. And I don't understand what's going on.

I hate being social, I can't be around people for too long or talk with them a lot. I feel like I'm being choked, suffocated, like someone's taking all my air away.

I am one mess, a confusing mess, a mess even I don't understand and can't figure out. Getting lost in my thoughts, my words, and I don't even know anymore what I mean or who I am.

It's foggy in my mind and I can't get a clear vision.

Foggy when I'm walking, when I'm talking. When I'm around people. When I'm alone.

My demons, my demons, I can't see them coming. It's the reason I get knocked down every time and don't know how to come back up. 'Cause it's foggy everywhere.

Foggy when I'm crying, when I'm laughing, when I'm writing.

I don't know what I'm writing, it's all just thoughts that don't make sense in my head, even less on paper. It's all so foggy.

Fog. Everywhere I go. Fog.

It's foggy with my eyes closed, with my eyes open, when I'm awake. When I'm in reality. Everywhere I go, it's white and foggy.

And when I try to explain, no one gets it, no one knows how it feels.

But,

when I drift of to sleep, when I'm in the supposed to be cloudy pink world....

I see,

I see it clearly, and it makes sense, that world makes sense. The world that no one gets, it's the only place I can see clearly.

I'm asleep,

but I'm awake.

My eyes are closed,

yet it's finally clear.

When I'm gone,

my foggy thoughts finally disappear.

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