I sometimes feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside. I cry my eyes out at night, laugh with my friends in the morning. And I don't understand what's going on.
I hate being social, I can't be around people for too long or talk with them a lot. I feel like I'm being choked, suffocated, like someone's taking all my air away.
I am one mess, a confusing mess, a mess even I don't understand and can't figure out. Getting lost in my thoughts, my words, and I don't even know anymore what I mean or who I am.
It's foggy in my mind and I can't get a clear vision.
Foggy when I'm walking, when I'm talking. When I'm around people. When I'm alone.
My demons, my demons, I can't see them coming. It's the reason I get knocked down every time and don't know how to come back up. 'Cause it's foggy everywhere.
Foggy when I'm crying, when I'm laughing, when I'm writing.
I don't know what I'm writing, it's all just thoughts that don't make sense in my head, even less on paper. It's all so foggy.
Fog. Everywhere I go. Fog.
It's foggy with my eyes closed, with my eyes open, when I'm awake. When I'm in reality. Everywhere I go, it's white and foggy.
And when I try to explain, no one gets it, no one knows how it feels.
when I drift of to sleep, when I'm in the supposed to be cloudy pink world....
I see it clearly, and it makes sense, that world makes sense. The world that no one gets, it's the only place I can see clearly.
but I'm awake.
My eyes are closed,
yet it's finally clear.
When I'm gone,
my foggy thoughts finally disappear.