Loving you was like feeling the cool breeze on my face, calming and safe while the lyrics of my music transport me into another realm. It was innocent and pure.
It was the kind of love that one only experience once, because it was a new feeling, a new emotion.
The cold breeze turned into a sun, brightening my day every once in a while.
It didn't feel safe anymore, it felt surreal, and after a few seconds, you'll get kicked back into reality. That sun, turned into rain. Crying, and crying every day. I was never good enough.
Rain, into thunder. Rage, envy, jealousy. Emotions, I don't associate myself with. I was on my way to self-destruction.
I worked hard, and long to find my worth, and here you came, crashing into the walls I built to protect myself, and making me doubt myself all over again.
It was hard to stay away from an illusion.
How could someone who made you this happy break you this much? When you told me that you could never love me the way that I love you, I felt a piece of myself go.
That part of myself I took years to protect. And when you talked about the person you loved, I broke even more.
I spent my days faking a smile, trying to not cry each time I saw you and I spent my nights crying, thinking, and trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
I don't blame you, because I saw how happy you were whenever you spoke about her, and all of sudden you would look at me, and stop talking, because you knew how much I was hurting.
But it hurts even more, to think that you can't share that happiness with me. The only thing that I could ever wish you is happiness. You deserve the world.
I just wished that I could be the reason for that beautiful rare smile of yours, just like you were for mine.