I would probably lie if I said that I never 'lied.' I probably will never admit that I cheated on that grammar test, or that I just smile and nod at whatever people say to feel accepted.
I'll probably never tell you about the times I almost had panic attacks in my classes when the teacher asked me a question. Or about the times when my 'friends' used to make fun of me.
Or about that time when I got jealous because you were hanging out with her instead of me. Or how I hope everyday that a car will just crash into me.
How I always want to cry, how I always want to shout, how I'm always in need of attention. I'll probably lie about all the things I feel, but that's the thing. i lie for a living.
I lie because I hate myself. I lie because most of the time. I wouldn't know why I do it. I don't really have any reason for acting the way I do. I probably just hope that someday.
just someday. Someone will notice and tell me that it's gonna be fine. That everything will go the way it was supposed to. That it only gives me more strength. That I am worthy.
I only want someone to believe in me, because I never did.