At the age of 16 I am just seen as another piece of meat, that me telling them no is just an alternative of yes. That if I say no I am afraid and weak not that I have the right to say no
They think I wake up for their attention not knowing that it is hard for me to wake up for myself sometimes,
thinking that the smile that is shown throughout the halls is for them not knowing it is painted on not knowing their attention makes me feel beautiful even though it may be negative
That their little chatters get me through the day that our 5 second conversations make my grin wider
Until the day I have pushed so hard that those chatters fade those 5 second conversations are nonexistent the fake smile I loved and hated so much is now smeared,
thinking that it’s my fault
My personality has ruined yet another friendship, relationship, another 5 second conversation.
Saying that I wasn’t brave enough, daring enough, my grin wasn’t wide enough knowing I wasn’t the problem in the first place