I wanted you more than anything else.
I wanted you to the point of embarrassment. I wanted you to the point of complete disappointment.
I have to live with all of it still - (The hurt. The pain. The sadness. The memory of summertime and sunshine. The memory of conversations on balconies shaded by walnut trees.)
Because the past isn't stationary.
Because I still carry my mistakes with me.
Because I still carry you around with me.