When I was 16 falling in love was easy.
It was holding back that was difficult.
"Be still my beating heart."
Stay where you are. Let the blue eyed boy go - his smile was only polite.
Stay where you are. Let the happy boy go - his lips pulled back subconsciously.
And what is the point of a rib cage if it can't keep an overly ambitious heart at bay?
And tell me, how do I move on when I've left so much of me behind?
I miss 16.
I miss the happy. I miss the spark. I miss the wonder. I miss the butterflies.
Because at 24, nervous feels like a headache.
And butterflies feels like a stomachache.
And the blue eyed boy is ice cold. And the happy boy brings happy to all the other girls too.
So, even if I am only a half of a whole person
I'll cut my hair, and Color my lips. I'll hold my own hand, and I'll move on.
Because I would rather sleep alone, than sleep next to you and wonder where you are.