rivers & roads
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lexitrains of thought
Autoplay OFF  •  8 months ago
Rivers and roads
Rivers and roads
Rivers 'til I reach you

rivers & roads

by lexi

and it was a few months ago

when i was listening to the head and the heart and downing a bottle of vodka

i got hit with the weirdest wave of something

it was something like a dream if dreams were made of

cutting air and the light getting knocked out of your pupils

and i realized that eight months ago i genuinely loved you

and it’s not that this was new information but it was this, and here is what it is

that there is a point in your life when you can be consumed

by the most powerful emotional convulsions that only can perfectly capture the human existence

it’s a mess of erratic sobbing and lighthearted banter and

your air --

it will always smell like cinnamon

and feel like ocean salt on your cheek.

it’s seeing the world, literally

through only rose-colored lenses and feeling deeply like a child again and i think

while none of this was new information again it was this:

that here i was, eight months later, and for whatever reason

i broke it off i resolved that i simply could not feel what i felt anymore, and that is what it is that began to eat away at me at that obscene hour of the night

with a bottle of vodka in my hand

and rivers and roads on repeat.

that you do all of this, and you feel all of this

and one day for unknown and uncontrollable reasons you cannot anymore.

your body tells you no more

and you go back to your daily functions.

what hit me was that it may never last.

it may never last for anyone.

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
8 months agoReply
This was plaintive and haunting. The sad overgeneralization is a mantra of your youth. Who knows what is valid and what is not when thoughts are accompanied by vodka. Good post!!!