dimidium
dimidium poems stories
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lexi
lexitrains of thought
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
more stuff about people i love

dimidium

by lexi

as i was sitting, clutching the nearest softest object

fetal position, face painted in splotches of red

from the overwhelming downflow from my tear ducts

for hours, praying — though i had sworn to not to

praying, begging the universe to change what distance had wedged itself between us, it occurred to me

some people, most people

spend their entire lives searching, yearning

for just connection

despite obstacles, accepting them and their crude truths

the candid vulnerability, understanding and communicating

for just allowing yourself to feel

even in your deepest trenches, and knowing they will pick up

what you drop

for those instant flashes of the other’s soul

raw fascination with the existence of love you never knew existed

but often, just simply, laughing with one another

for those small serendipities of human frailty and unease awkward, clumsy, dropping of mugs and misworded phrases

and arriving late and forgetting a birthday and

acceptance, above all, of all these things

for unembellished, heart-wrenching needing to the point of

where it drives you to sitting, fetal position face painted in splotches of red

some people, most people

will never know such a thing, or will search

their entire lives for it

where had i turned, i wondered, to have deserved it all

and this, i think, made the distance seem smaller.

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