It's perfectly normal for first loves to be strange. That way you can look back when you are older and wiser and reminisce about your youth and what a weirdo you were some 2 years ago.
After 5 years, you might get irritated from remembering even a fraction of that incident. And after 8 years you will think it all wasn't half-bad, compared to the current madness.
10 and 20 and 30 - who knows what will be left in your memory? And if it's left what form will it take? Memory is such a peculiar thing.
What had happened and what you now think happened - are these still the same?
After years and years, you only remember the good things and think of your first love with great fondness.
In retrospect, all the time wasted trying to erase these accidents from your memory could have been spent more fruitfully.
It is a common fact that first loves are strange. My first love was a demon.
And now when I have forgotten the sheer madness and fury of those days, I remember them as quiet and tranquil, even if they were far from that, with fever and dreams and fierce longing.
But maybe, in my illness, I had forgotten that there had been peaceful days. And now that the storm has calmed down, my memory has been restored.
From this many amusing stories could surface. I hope, my love, that you forgive me for sharing some of them.
But I need to console this child that's crying in earnest despair, tears of her first strange love.
And as it's known, you learn to appreciate the things around you when a comparison appears that far exceeds your young imagination.