You say you don't believe in God
  14 likes
  •   2 comments
Share

lbingamenNo boundaries
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

You say you don't believe in God

by lbingamen

You say you don't believe in God. Yet you keep on praying. Youre glazed out of your mind. You don't know what you're saying. Will I spend the rest of my life paying?

Will you spend the rest of your life praying?

Baby, don't take life so serious. They told me, no one blamed us. You're always looking for ways to be famous. You're famous in your own head. And i'm always famous in your bed.

Baby, don't take life so serious. Was there anything between us? Caught between enemy and lover. Just tell me when its over.

I welcome the warmth, I welcome the warmth, in this cold, cold, house. You're a day late, and i'm a dollar short. Do you remember that blouse?

Stories We Think You'll Love
lbingamenBronze CommaNo boundaries
a year ago
My Fire

lbingamenBronze CommaNo boundaries
23 days ago
The Brain Around the Corner
Parts of me aren't on the same page

lbingamenBronze CommaNo boundaries
9 months ago
Time to Let it Be
Letting an unhealthy relationship be.



lbingamenBronze CommaNo boundaries
a year agoReply
Thank you! I really appreciate any feedback! (: @bernardtwindwil

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
Your first stanza was well worded and metered and each verse in it had a lilting flow. Your interrupters were perfect but in stanza 2,3,4 you should concatenate the long verses. Don't change the wording. Just press enter and make shorter verses. It was in all other aspects an excellent poem. You broached a subject which is always dicey and you handled it very well.