last night
last night confront stories
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lavender_willow
lavender_willow the tides of my mind are not gentle
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
last night, i spoke out loud, instead of waiting to scream till it's all in my head.

last night

last night

last night i watched the sun

last night i watched the sun leave the sky

i watched it fall

i watched it fall beneath the trees

i watched it fall beneath the trees sinking

till it's light

till it's light was

till it's light was sparse

till it's light was sparse and

till it's light was sparse and faded.

navy blue ink spilled across the sky

navy blue ink spilled across the sky speckled gently with stars like freckles.

the cold seeped in.

i began to shiver

i began to shiver but still i sat

alone on the steps in front of my door

alone on the steps in front of my door but for the camera around my neck

and gentle music

and gentle music accompanied

and gentle music accompanied by barely audible lyrics

whispered to no one.

at some point, i thought i was happy

i thought maybe that feeling

i thought maybe that feeling was as close as i would ever get

but then i realised

happy isn't what i felt last night

last night i was cold

my heart hurt

my eyes held back tears

that isn't happiness, is it?

so no

so no while i have yet to find happy

i took a step closer last night.

all on my own

all on my own just a step

all on my own just a step minuscule really

but to me

it felt like everything.

last night, i gave myself a voice

i let myself speak

and though it was to no one

i felt like everyone could hear.

i let myself hurt

i let myself feel

i spoke directly to that loveless demon in my head

my voice cracked, but i said those words.

"do you know what you've done to me?"

no answer comes

but i think i knew to expect that.

even if he was more than a memory

i know the answer

i know the answer would always be the same.

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