Everything feels like a lot to handle
The small smiles and flirtatious comments,
Each accidental brush feels like a mountain
And reminds me of things that shouldn’t matter but do,
It all reminds me of you.
And I don’t, don’t, don’t want to go back
I’m so, so afraid.
I don’t ever want to feel the way you made me felt:
Guilty when I didn’t please,
as though I owed you me,
because intentional or not you left me scarred and bruised.
You left me recoiling from the smallest little touches,
so that now when any boy touches me I jolt back,
and even though it wasn’t that bad it feels like it.
Everything’s just too much.
Too, too much.
So even when I’m doing my very best to change,
Go back to the way I was and forget the feeling of your fingers on my shirt,
creeping under my skirt,
Every little thing just feels like a lot now...