should've
should've mind stories
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latejune
latejunein love with @neutralfleur
Autoplay OFF  •  10 months ago
something on my mind

should've

a poem, by latejune

he told us.

how hours could seem like weeks.

and how his muscles could be weak.

how he couldn't move or talk.

he told us.

how depression and anxiety had manifested in his mind.

and he didn't know how to escape the pulling waves, and the growing tides.

he told us.

and i know that in that moment i could and should speak.

tell him and the lot, how my mind caves and drifts off.

how i knew how he felt.

that even moments can feel like living hell.

he told us,

but instead of caving in like my body always does.

i froze and shut up, in that moment, filled with fear. i could've told and poured it out.

but i didn't--

he told us..

and i sat still.

even if my feelings had been real. even if my mind wasn't just making things up.

the fear of judgement and confusion,

of chuckles because of my delusion.

rejection and trauma fresh on my heart. like a bloody canvas, torn apart--

HE TOLD US---

and i couldn't bare,

to think if i did or would say a thing--

my thoughts and experiences were fake.

and i'd be lying, once again.

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