Do you remember how close we were? How much we drove our parents crazy by the mischief we got into? Or how you and I made a promise that it would be us against the world? I do.
I remember all of that and then some. We were inseparable growing up. Two peas in a pod. We made plans that our kids would give us the same trouble we gave to our parents.
Hell, we even planned for at least one of our kids dating.
You were so much more than my best friend. You were my life. Anytime I needed you, you were there. The good times, the bad, and vice versa.
When all the Tom, Dick, and Harry's broke my heart, you were there to fix it. I helped you in your trying times as well. Cause that is usually what friends do.
They pick each other up, and show that there is always one person you can count on. You were my person. Were, being the keyword at play.
Soon after we graduated highschool, you began changing. There was also someone who was slowly taking my place. I was just to BLIND to see this.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous nor am I, I just never thought I was so dispensable. Especially not to you. All the things we did together, slowly started dwindling.
All of our rituals, you began doing it with her. You started acting weird, and she treated me like I was an ant. Worse even.
Being that I loved you, and thought so highly of you, I kept letting it roll off of my shoulders.
Stupid right? That is how I feel now. I don't mean to digress, I just am trying to figure where I went wrong in my interpretation of you. You were my Destiny. I fell in love with you.
Not in a romantic way, but you were my glove. Little did I know, you weren't. Before you started treating me so horribly, was the time I found solace in someone else.
Someone that never left me or made me feel so low. She showed me what true friendship was. She chose to keep me. You chose to throw me away.
She kept me close, while I was trying to keep you close. She never had me pondering if I was good enough. That was the only question I had leaving your and your new buddy's place.
Over the course of the situation at hand, I found who was my real person. The one that I know I could count on. Be there for and in return her be there for me.
I am extremely hurt of how we turned out. Even after I moved, things got worse. My calls and texts to you went unanswered.
I know people change and we tend to get busy, but weeks without an answer doesn't feel right for two people who used to be best friends. Then, you made a pop shot on social media about my worry.
I know cause you repeated me verbatim. . Never in my life would I expect that from you. To take it there of all places.
Input and communication is important in any relationship; platonic or romantic. I tried so hard to make an effort to keep you, while you tried so hard to push me away.
I should have taken the hint.
Especially when I was the last to know about your most important day. Your wedding. Not going to lie, that was the worst. I let it go.
Figured you didn't want to put the stress of me trying to find a way to comeback to not miss the most important thing. I would have dropped everything to show.
I chose not to, cause the invite didn't feel right. It felt like you didn't want me there. I respected that feeling.
Moving on to years, I graduate with honors. Joyce and Sondra are the only ones that held on. That didn't run away with the first sign of a struggle.
As I stated earlier, they valued me and loved me. Loved and still love my quirkiness. They didn't abandon me.
I wish I would have realized that sooner to save my self the feeling that I felt after seeing you so many years.
While it may be true I wasn't in my desired career field, I am still did things that I love. That I felt was good for me to gain professional experience.
But your smirk that followed after the one sentence that stabbed my heart with your knife, that had blood on it from before, destroyed me.
"What eleven degrees and you're working at a daycare, how unfortunate," those words played in my mind. I cried on the way home for the humiliation.
That was when I found out we could never be the same. Judgemental bitch isn't a good color on someone who doesn't even work. It upset me though.
Not because you didn't show love after so many years. But the fact that you said what you said in the tone you said. I accepted at that moment, that we are now in a place that has no recovery.
None what-so-ever. You turned out to be the rudest, most judgemental person that I never thought I'd see you as.
I'm so sorry my employment offended you so bad that you had to turn your pretty nose up at me. The fact that i have 11 degrees, but I was working as a caregiver to children.
I'll be sure to take this lesson and learn that people aren't who we believe in the end. That I feel I haven't changed but you took a turn for the worst.
I'm also sorry I wasted my energy on you. But the thing I'm most sorry about, is that I was Blind. I hope in another lifetime, we never turn out like this, but for this one I must say goodbye.
That the knife you used hurt and I hope nothing but the best for you. I must use your knife now and sever the ties that should have been cut a long time ago.