I am all too familiar with the lullaby.
My heart already knows how to pump the right blood when it hears the words
My stomach is ready to curl its toes to dread
My head has rehearsed lowering close to ground so many times
That it knows how to by heart
Sitting up straight is foreign to me,
Looking someone in the eye is a lost art that I have not mastered
Under the sheets of my childhood
I have not peeked to see confidence
I have snuck to see pain
Merge together, in a dance
That a child should not see, but of course, it is inevitable.
Speaking without wavering has evaporated into something has not even existed
My ears are attuned to shouts and dirty whispers.
In my new hiding place I now have to rewire
Substances that have soldified in the lower crevices of me
Hoping to wash away the residue
Before it eats me away, like it had years ago.