I Wonder
I Wonder mothersday stories

kzachar1 ooh that’s a God idea, lemme write that
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Recapping my mother's childhood to adulthood. I love you so much Mom.

I Wonder

By Krystle Zachary

For my mother

I wonder how you were as a child,

Brown skinned, dimpled, eyes shining copper,

Prancing in your white fluffy dress.

He scoops you up, smiles, kisses you.

Scream pierces his ears, and you keep wailing,


You do not know this man.

He places you back in your father’s arms,

And your sobs subside.

Your breathing slows, calm like a lingering tide,

Your white dress billowing in your father’s face.


How was it

Too confident for your own good

Boldly affirming a lie that you thought was a truth

And being plunged in the shivery depths

Barely gasping, thrashing, waves crashing as

You utter for desperate assistance

And you are saved

Motivating your mother

To enroll you in

Swimming Lessons.

I think about how you were,

Brown, surrounded by white

Wandering through school

Searching for another familiar face

Refusing to settle with reality.

Determined, dreaming-dancing

Up to the front,

Clad in Fourth of July colors

Pleated skirt twirling as you danced,

As you cheered,

For your identity being heard,

For your school to be proud.

I fantasize what it was like

Having your heart pound

As your eyes were glued at Ted

Convinced that nothing could cut them away

Hoping to be noticed

And to know this man...

Or how was it

Linking arm and arm

With close friends

Dreams and doubts

Twirling out of your lipsticked mouths

And twisting into your hang out lounge

Meeting the eyes of males

Sprawling in the halls

While you girls carefully cradle the eyes in your own,

Considering whether to drop them or linger

To hold them

A little longer.

Or the time

Feeling a rush of ecstasy

Flooding your whole being

You venture to a party

At first bright and sparkling

Like sparklers lighting up a velvet night sky

But then

Gets a little tense


A little hot

As boys whisper that you are just that

And you tiptoe away fast

Too fast, in fact

That you leave your purse behind.

Fourth of July colors

Fill the heavy night

Flashing, your body

Shaking, not to the music,

But to take your purse

That the police has kindly

Handed back to you.

What was it like

Hearing your name

Bellowed through the whole building

Reverberating your insides

As you are flooded with the

Audience Applause

You prance to the front

In your mini skirt

And snug red sweater

Feeling flashes of excitement

That you get to play

And win...!

And you kiss the host’s cheek


You did not know this man.

And oh, how so

Was it like

Sitting on the bus

Just wandering, wondering

In your restless or calming thoughts

Perhaps about to nod to slumber

When you saw

A tall

Young man

With a straw hat

And a sparkling smile.

He is holding a newspaper and holding your eyes

Words pour out of his mouth and you barely hear your own response

And he smiles bigger and he sits next to you.

And you say something and he says something


You feel so comfortable, like you

Are basking in the sun

So very nice.

And you smile, just for him


You have always known this man.


Oh what was it like

Dressed in your silken white dress

Your eyes glowing liquid gold

Your brown skin paints a vivid picture

Of future, happiness, swirling Walking slowly to the front Your ‘I do’ ready on your painted lips

Poised for that moment That seems to stretch for a lifetime

You stare into that man’s dark eyes So tempting to say the words now

Ready to embrace his love, Ready to start a life together.



I wonder how I was like

Brown, round, blinking

My black wet eyes to the new world

Seeing your wet, happy face.

Smelling the perfume of new motherhood

My scream must have pierced your ears

I was thrashing, crashing into the waves of the unknown

But you smiled, just for me

And I was burrowed in your breast, warmth

Like basking in the sun

So very nice

And you said you loved me

You loved me


You have always known me


I Love you Mom!!!

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