rivers of honey flow through my veins when i’m with you. you’re the sunlight that keeps it warm & running.
when your rays come too close, your heat overwhelms me. i’m not used to the comfort. i’m not used to not having to push those rivers of honey on my own.
so i let my fear take over me. i let it, once again, put a sudden stop to the beauty of my shining rivers. i fill the sky with clouds so thick your rays cannot pass through.
i apologize, my love. i apologize for relapsing every so often. feeling shut off is all i knew. my survival mode. and sometimes it still comes back.
i expect you to run. i expect you to leave. i’m not stable enough to have you around. but you stay. every morning i wake up expecting you gone, but when i turn over i find you here. still here.
still believing in me. still confessing that you have your baggage too. still loving me. i never knew love like this. i wish i could collect the brightest stars from the night sky and gift them to you. but you are the brightest star. my sun. my love.