I'm sorry 'me.' forgive me for making you go through this for the second time.
Sorry, for no longer caring about how hurtful this may be. Sorry.. for lying, for saying we're going to be okay without him.
I feel guilty as I'm saying these words to you, cause God! How did we get here?
It feels like someone is squeezing the shit out of our heart, doesn't it? With the strength of the entire goddamn universe.
It feels tough, it's painful.. right here in my chest.. just.. here.
It has always been this way, for 3 years. So how can I be this dumb and let them use you this way?
I might or may feel angry at the moment, but I'm sure I won't be in a couple of years. Unless.. I'm back to being my dumb self again.
'Love'. What is it? Is it the sweetest thing, or is it the bitterest? I can't decide.
Is it a pink dream, or a blue nightmare? From all I know, it can take years to be built, to be put together, but a fraction of a second, a word, for it to be completely destroyed. Shattered.
It can make you feel guilty, for a crime you've never committed, or is it the crime itself? Now all I want is to be alone. Alone with you..
I'm in my lowest, to the point of forgiving everything you've done so far just for one more night.
I also feel ashamed, of how this breakup is affecting me. Literally "a teenage love, which will fade away" someone would say.. all I know is how painful and how real this feels.
All I know is that 18 or 35 doesn't matter, cause this got me so hard, I feel 99.
Forgive me again, for making you go through this for the second time, for turning the page but looking back at him with hope in my heart.