11 Reasons Octopi are Totally Metal

Octopi are cunning, cold-blooded predators that shape-shift and have tentacles. These are the 11 features of octopi that make them totally fucking metal.

1. Cephalopod would be a badass band name.

2. Octopi are shapeshifters.

They can change colors and even texture.

3. They're cold-blooded predators.

4. Octopi are basically swimming Cthulhu heads.

5. They regrow limbs, including their penis.

It gets torn off during their crazy sex.

6. You can't cage them.

Octopi are as smart as apes and can figure out how to unlock cages.

7. Octopi are lone wolves.

8. Tentacles, man. Tentacles.

9. They can spray ink as black as night to escape.

#originalninjas

10. There's an octopus known as the Vampire Squid

(Vampyroteuthis infernalis). Righteous.

11. Oh, and they're fucking venomous.

Surprise!