I yelled I love you. In the suburbs, outside a house party on a smoke break, I yelled that I loved you into the night air in hopes that you might here me.
The suburbs smells of fresh cut grass and flowers. it makes me thinks of futures on a cul-de-sac's with a kid and a wife.
I want a kid, well two to be exact Isabella and Brian. Im a sucker for old fashioned names and the names of two of my grandparents…
Maybe i’ll live in a detached with a small garden. I’ll know all my neighbours and bring new ones pie in when they move in. Our kids will learn to cycle in the streets and bring friends home to camp out in the back garden.
We’ll sit watching the sunset on a bench that I’ve built or one of those swinging chairs.
And we fell out over it because I yelled when I shouldn’t have because I thought I know best when really I know nothing about assembling flat pack garden furniture but well learn that along the way.
You’ll learn all my quirks, like I can’t sleep on my balk only my side, and I store a little loud, and I take four sugars in a strong coffee like my dad, and my music taste is awful but you’ll put up with it and...
I go off on tangents when I get uncomfortable talking about something.
I yelled I loved you, I was told not to be stupid. I’m pissed I don’t know what I’m saying. I yelled I loved you and cried. because I lost you. I loved you and lost you.
We won’t see the suburbs, or the friendly cul-de-sac. We won’t have two kids or even a dog. maybe i'll find it with some one. but someone… isn’t you.