Whilst enduring one of my loneliest days this summer break has seen me come to I Seem to find my mind wandering to you. Fuck.
And suddenly I see you everywhere.
And for a brief second in time it almost got to me. you almost captured a spark of my empathy, my longing, had i allowed it to flourish.
Until I realised I saw you, not in through the lonely heart and lusting eyes I once did, but instead through the styles and trends Of the "it girls" I cared very little for.
To the joy of my heart I have finally realised...
You are NOT one in a million that I was to hopelessly pine for half my life but rather... One of Millions. One of billions of it girls stuck on trends in the age of the millennial.
You are far from the perfectly painted Van Gogh that I thought of but rather a carbon copy sheep, churned out in the age of the internet, the pit of trends and hashtags that is our era.
The ripped jeans and nike era, The vine fad and challenge tags era, You are the contour and highlighter, The hair dye and straighteners, The brand names and the fucking for fun era...
Gathering in the hundreds pining at the shrines of boy bands and brands. Your age group took basic white girl to a whole new level of mind-wash.
Rather than living in fear I take comfort in the fact that I see you every where, Because it reminds me that you wont see me.
Induviduality skipped your age group.
As for mine? well... We Embraced It!
Knowing you all around me gives me a little boost that i need, reminds me of the bullets dodged that the pain was worth it, the healing mandatory to come to a conclusion.
You are just the One Of Millions That never learnt how to love.