i'm smashed, pissed, blasted out of my mind sitting at the other side of the room and my eyes are always drawn to you...
watching you laugh i can see the world in your smile and galaxies in your eyes.
yet all the joy in your voice is tearing me apart...
because i'm not the cause.
I'm scared of hurting you,
of breaking you.
i'm terrified i'll let you down, so much so it'll rip you apart
and you won't be able to come back because
the last time we spoke you handed your heart to me on a platter and i tore it apart through my own insecurities.
i wish you were mine
i wish i could hold you
speak to you
have you by my side.
i wish that i could take you in my arms and never let you go because
i want to be the one to help bring light into your darkness but instead im doing the opposite to you.
every time i speak i seem to encase you in darkness
that was never my intention
i only ever wanted to love you
but i cant love you the way you wished to be loved
and for that...i can never forgive myself.