Apology to the heartbreak
Apology to the heartbreak ouch stories

kerryjohnstone Queer poet with a lot on their mind
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
in response to a difficult conversation i had to have.

Apology to the heartbreak

by kerryjohnstone

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry , I'm sorry I'm sorry , I'm sorry

There's only so many times I can say it before it loses it's meaning and I'm yelling sweet nothing into the wind,

praying you'll listen to the now meaningless phrase escaping my lips.

This started out so simple.

Heart and meaning outlined every meeting I thought we could go on forever in that little bar, Hidden in the corner letting life roll by...

As we talk and laugh and feel for what seems like a millennium...

Ruining us was the biggest mistake I've made.

I pack up and run when my heart and head grow dark and clouded.

I can still hear it yelling.:

"You don't deserve her"

"Your not good enough"

"What makes you think after all the failures that you can love now."

I tried to run Tried to let go but I can't quite escape.

You've buried your heart in my head, tethered me to your soul.

But I wish you would let go...

Untie me

Let me drift off into the night.

Because every time I come back around I hurt you, I lead you on, break you down and go. Like it's what I was born to do.

I'm sorry I do this but it's become my nature ask any who came before.

Let me go and heal. Forget me and heal.

Hear my apology And let me drift away into darkness

I'm sorry. But you and I...

I can't deal with the idea of hurting you anymore So You have to let go.

Let go...


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