"Is that person a boy or a girl?"
The words I hear uttered behind me Send shivers down my neck And goosebumps up my arms raising it into a hilly landscape of stomach churning upset.
because what started as a daily bus ride just turned into my desperate need to hide, Turned into begging the mother to be a forward thinker, Turned into Begging for that little kid and there mother to see past my gender identity and see a feeling, caring human being.
I turn my music up so I don’t have to here the answer. We’ve been through this moment to many times.
"That guy at the bar just asked if you were male or female."
Said with a laugh, as if my friends are in on a joke that I am not. I smile and nod because that's the polite thing to do, I don't need to have myself in this conversation now…
Oh no... I'm growing agitated, don't. Not hear not just now. I can feel it bubbling up on my stomach, my skin glowing the colour of stop lights, I dont want to fall out with anyone, but this is my gender expression, this is not a joke.
And I let it out.
"Well what's funny about the heteronormative closed minded cis, white, male ape over there deluded in societal norms and you mocking my gender?"
Shit you went there.
Don't get me wrong I know it's not his fault. I know it's a societal thing to believe that there is only male or female.
But there's a whole other fucking world out there and I expect you, my friend, to respect that.
I am Agender.
not female just... me
Pronouns never bothered me He-She-They I'd rather you just called me Kerry,
But my heart will sink on a daily basis when the people I hold dearest invalidate who I am. As if who I am dose not exist. Now the only solution to this is get new friends BUT NO! I like them to much.
But still Dumb Dumb here must educate!!
I am Agender
I have no gender.
When you stand before me in a conversation and say "sexuality is one thing, but in gender there is only male and female."
You devalue me. When talking about gender roles in relationships and you say "does that mean Agender people can't have relationships" even as a joke you've devalued me.
That hurts, Like really fucking hurts. So let me educate you sweeties...
Agender is not having a gender... Being genderless. i am an open book, a blank canvas. Clothes are my paint and I’m free to express it any way i choose
Agender usually comes with a lack of care for pronouns. In my case exactly. I am female as far as sex is concerned and I like people of the female persuasion.
The best thing I've ever been told came from a friend...
"I was talking about you the other day, all good things, all good things don't worry and I showed a picture of you and my friend asks what's her deal is she a guy or a girl. And I said they're kerry like, it's just kerry." Never have I felt so accepted.
So please for the love of the gods see past the binaries and just see me.