is the moment at which I know I won’t wake up on time when the 7 o'clock alarm goes off, I’ll simply hit snooze ten times before dragging my lazy ass to Uni looking like a train wreck
is the time where I begin to stare blankly at the roof drawing shapes in the darkness with my eyes trying really hard not to be tempted by the pinging
the pinging of my phone and the constant Notifications from the tumblr which I have only just lay down, because my phone over heated an shut down the app…
Apparently there is such a thing as too much tumblr.
where I begin to feel at home in the darkness letting it hug me, hold me close, keeping me safe letting it seep into my skin surrounded and protected.
when darkness turns into safety
It’s 3:30am and I’m trying my hardest to avoid all thoughts of her, her hair her eyes her smile her laugh… her… Shit…
and I’m trying in a frantic dash to forget her… Shit think of something else…
Turning 3:32am and I’m contemplating every bad decision ever wrong word ever mixed up sentence, evey bad life choice that has led me to the crappy life I hold now.
Rolling on 3:35 driffting into a semi sleep state life becomes a blur the walls around me fade and I left with only my bed and my thoughts, in a cloud of fuzzy unknowing,
and dozens of questions for the world, questions for a god, questions for a life not lived are rattling about inside my head scraping at the edges of my skull in attempts to escape
It hits 3:45am and I am drifting into a hazy dream.
And I know that tomorrow I WILL be late for anything and everything. I will have mood swings as quick as the tides and I will drink my body weight in energy juices.
But I can guarantee you I will do all this once more tomorrow morning at 3:30am. The moment the mind is seduced into a state of pure magic.