I don't know where you are at this point of time, or if you will ever even read this but I need to tell you a lot.
but first let me get you a bit of context as to when I am exactly writing in a few words - experiments and happiness. I think that will be enough for you to know where and what phase I am at.
Anyways there were quite a few things I want to tell you, and the list is long.
Firstly, you are an amazing person. I know you get into fights with people and don't work as hard as you are supposed to unless you are really passionate about something.
But remember that what you want to make is possible only if you put in your 110%.
By the time you are reading this I don't know what exactly are you planning to do in life but know that if it makes you happy then give it your all,
after all what are you saving up for otherwise.
Secondly, it is okay not to have a lot of friends.
Always weigh quality over quantity, it doesn't matter whether you have one friend or two, but what matters is that you make them feel special for being friends with you.
They might not be able to do much for you but that is not what they are here for. They are here to add a spark of fun to your life, be sure to make their life fun as well.
Also don't keep unrealistic goals no matter how badly you want to achieve that thing.
It is not going to happen and it will only give you pain, the past you has already experienced that and I hope that you don't ever have to go through it again.
Another important thing SPEAK MORE, and by more I mean to more people, if they find you weird then let them.
It shouldn't matter to you about how they find you, unless that is you want to be friends with them.
But even them they will be the ones that don't see past your weirdness but instead learn that it is what makes you, YOU and accept it with a hug.
Apart from this, TRY NEW THINGS. You have always wanted to go to England then GO, what are you waiting for. Get a plane ticket and go there. Enjoy the sights there, the local food, the accents. EVERYTHING!
You have forever wanted to go to a church but have always waited for a friend to take you there. Why? Don't you have feet? Walk over there yourself.
I will have to speak about our hidden dream as well, I know you have always wanted to spin under a shower of rose petals. Well darling throw them in the sky yourself.
You don't need someone else to do it for you. Dress up for yourself, and if you have people out there who care about you in a good way then for them. Otherwise you are strong enough on your own.
I don't know what happened in the future that I am working for but I hope I helped pave a perfect path for you to walk on,
cleaning out all the thorns so that you can have a clean path to walk on. I hope that by now you are on your way to make you know what I mean, or whatever it is that you wanted to do.
Please forgive me if I have done something wrong but believe me I always had the best of intentions, and you never know it might help you in the future.
Before I go I just want to list somethings for you that I want you to know -
1. Your dream WILL COME TRUE
2. Your problems are as fleeting as your happiness
3. You are a STRONG person, you have gone through things that no one could have survived. Never forget that.
4. You are special, and loved, and awesome, and amazing - P.S. if there is no one there that is close enough for them to say it verbally remember that the past you loves you a lot. : )
5. Always be happy - you deserve it, no matter how you feel or what you have done - nobody should be able to take this away from you.
6. Don't forget to get up, get ready and move on.
7. Smile, always.
That's all I have to say for now. I wish I could say more to you, but I don't think 26 letters can encapsulate what all I want to tell you.
I know that you might find me a bit childish, overly optimistic even and to some extent you may know that it is because I have privileges that you may no longer have.
But remember a child cannot lie and so can't a mirror, and technically I am just a years old mirror image of you. SO I AM NOT LYING ABOUT ANYTHING (I can almost hear you scoffing.).
Bye now and never forget what I told you.
I love you. : )
The Past You.