Unholy
Unholy anxiety stories
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kelseywoods
kelseywoods uncomfortable poet
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
love and self-destruction

Unholy

I don't deserve a lot of good things or any good thing I've been trapped in the deepest parts of me of you of us all dripping with despair and deceit

I don't deserve a lot of good things much less you who holds me so reverently and tells me that I am, that I am something so special

I am the epitome of doubt and resistance something which has no reason of belonging to something so whole and holy and wonderful

the heart and the mind may inhibit the same space but they are not within the same aspects of reality they are entities which are on opposing forces not meant to touch but still, maybe still, long to

I am trapped bolstered against the ribcage of a hell of my own unwitting design I am undeserving of freedom yet here you are

what did I do? what could I have possibly done? for an angel to abandon their heavenly throne to dwell amongst within one so unholy full of tempest and unrest?

who am I to be held with such love? I am undeserving of this I deserve nothing stop telling me I deserve this that I deserve everything good in the world I am not you I am not the personification of purity

disillusionment tumbles off my tongue and I am alone in my own space fast within the dark no longer grasping for some sort of unreal savior

because you are already there and pulling me dragging my unwilling soul from the bowels of hell itself

if you wish to love me as I wish so desperately to love you to be worthy of love of which I know I am not then hold me tight and fast before the darkness pulls me down once more and there we go tumbling tumbling falling once again

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