Is it possible to love someone without knowing you do?
Could it be that I loved him but didn’t realize it?
He was in and out of relationships all the time and I was busy dwelling my feelings for another guy that never liked me. I do love him, he’s my best friend.
But does it stop at that? Is it more than just a friendship? My feelings keep confusing me.
I hate seeing him with other girls. I never liked any of his girlfriends and I surely hated it when he would talk about them.
Every time I asked if he was still dating, I secretly wished he’d say no. I wished he’d stay single forever. But I never stopped and thought about why I would wish that.
I hate this situation; not knowing whether my feelings are real or just platonic jealousy the way I feel with my girl friends. I can tell it’s different though, even other people noticed.
I don’t know what to do with my feelings. I feel like telling would make things really awkward if the feeling is not reciprocated. But keeping quiet kills me; I’ve been through it once.
I never want to go through that hell again. But I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I cherish him more than my own feelings. I would rather be his friend forever than to lose him forever.