Forceful pleasure
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katrinaquickWords are everything to me
Autoplay OFF  •  7 months ago

Forceful pleasure

by katrinaquick

Yesterday my boyfriend playfully held my head down and I panicked. Not a rational panic, a real, terrifying, anxiety attack type of panic.

I panicked because the last man I loved forced my head down towards his genitals, swollen with blood and I felt as though I had no choice but to open my mouth and be entered.

Society has made me believe I have little choice. Giving pleasure is part of a woman’s worth and I am worthless without it to the owner of these genitals.

Because he was twice the size of me, his movements were rough and forceful and I was afraid.

I was afraid if I didn’t open my mouth and take him inside me he would do something, either in that moment or later on. I was afraid.

So I did take him inside me, I felt him pushing on the back of my throat and I tried not to choke, my gag reflex kicking in as I tried not to be sick, I struggled to breathe.

He wriggled with pleasure, his eyes closed and his mouth moaned and I wondered if I am supposed to feel pleasure at my power to please. The power is never mine in this relationship.

So when my loving, kind, current boyfriend playfully pushes my head down I tell ‘Don’t do that, it’s a trauma’, and then past his apologies I run to him,

I bury my head in his torso and he holds me as I sob. ‘That won’t ever happen to you again, I promise. I’ll kill them’, he tells me, and I start to feel safe again.

That night I take him inside my mouth because I want to, because he deserves all the pleasure in the world. When I see him smile with pleasure I find myself smiling.

I taste the warm, sticky trail of substance that I somehow extracted from him with my clumsy hands and unsure tongue and I taste him,

a hint of salt, green of the jungle and then suddenly my mouth tingles, my lips tingle. I am safe.

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katrinaquickWords are everything to me
7 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I understand. Thank you for your support and I appreciate you are just trying to look out for others on this site. :)

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
@katrinaquick This was excellent work. More specifically it is a statement for women . I think you should have put a warning as to adult content. Some of our poets are only 11 yrs old. That maybe too young a forum. We also have quite a few poets from fundamental religions. I do not believe in censorship nor do I object on any grounds of my own. I am just Granddad watching out for the little ones. I applaud your efforts to bring this rapine behavior to the front burner.

katrinaquickWords are everything to me
7 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I apologise if you felt this was inappropriate for this site, I wanted to talk about it because I feel like women (and people) constantly suffer sexual traumas and are not allowed to speak about them. I also feel that women are constantly sexualised and objectified but are simultaneously made to feel that they cannot talk about sex, which contributes greatly to rape culture. I suffered inexplicably and I wanted to share this with commaful so that anyone else who has experienced something similar might be able to recognise the position they are in or relate to what I have experienced. When you say reconsider, do you mean remove?

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
This is very descriptive. I feel, however, that it is inappropriate for this site. I think you need to reconsider this post.