Is That Real?
Is That Real? mental illness stories
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katemarie
katemarie Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
This is just a rant on my personal mental illness, though the last stanza in particular may apply to many more individuals

Is That Real?

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

I disappear

Into the pages of the book

The class all talks

About how “crazy” the characters are.

“They’re faking!”

“They’re crazy!”

Their words pierce

My skin.

I see

The blood

Dripping.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

“He’s crazy! He killed someone!”

I wince.

It hurts.

But I cannot let them know.

“They can’t know.” THEY whisper.

“They can’t know.”

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

My skin

Turns black.

It’s rotting.

“He sees things that aren’t there!”

I muffle

a scream

Of agony.

Sharp pains

A grotesque

Creature

Comes

For me.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

Shaking, I reach

Out and whisper

“Help.”

I say it louder

and louder until I’m screaming.

No one hears me.

From my throat tears a cry.

“Haha, yeah, I’m so crazy!”

“Oh my god, he’s such a psycho!”

Eyes

Turn to

Bleeding

Black holes.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

Something

Touched

My shoulder.

I turn.

No one

Is there.

“He was a killer because he’s depressed.”

“You just need to sleep better. Have you tried yoga?”

The floor

Rolls in waves

Like the ocean.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

The whispering,

The yelling,

The degrading,

Never stops.

It's like a radio broadcast

That only I can pick up.

It’s not real, I remind myself.

But it feels real. I hate it.

I don’t know how to live without it.

“Just go to the doctor and get medicine!”

“Medicine is a crutch. Stop being so weak. Suck it up like the rest of us.”

Bugs

Crawl

Under

my skin.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

“It’s all in your head.”

“Just make it go away.”

Yes, it is in my head.

Brains are an organ,

Like any other, that can get sick.

Thank you for identifying

Where the problem is, even though

I have already told you that.

Knowing that it’s all in my head

Doesn’t make the symptoms-

-Disappear. -Vanish. -Leave.

Skin

Melts

Off

Your face

Like wax

Off a candle.

Is that real?

Can you tell me?

Who are you

To tell me what’s real?

Is this real?

Is my pain real?

Is your compassion real?

Or is it only real

Until YOU

An uneducated person

With no idea of the terms

You throw around-

The pain you cause-

Decide

That my illness

Isn’t real?

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