So i lost my best friend
i have not hurt this badly in awhile
Nevaeh was basically a sister to me
we have not spoken in over 2 months
i found out that she has blocked me on EVERYTHING!
she didnt leave me with a reason why she just did it
straight out of the blue
i miss her so much
one of my other friends asked her why she blocked me
she said that she couldnt handle "my negativity and it
always being about me, i dont regret it at all"
that hurt me and stung me soo deeply it was nearly
unbearable. i have been crying for 3 weeks now
i still have not talked to her
i had had my suspicions that we were drifting apart
but i refused to believe it.
until she eliminated me from her life
everything reminds me of her.
my room is filled with memories of us
and it hurts every single damn time i look at them
i honestly want her back but i dont think that will ever
she was my other half . and now she is gone
she was my only reason to live, well i thought. i have
my family standing by me i think.
i am nearly a month clean, but its been hard as hell to not
cut with all of this happening lately
i just want her back but clearly she doesnt care.
i am sorry this is kind of scattered its sorta a vent. im so
hurt and i really do not know how to handle it
ive been smoking lately to try and numb away some of
the pain ive been feeling. its so hard to get out of bed
every single day. i am constantly fighting with myself
trying to decide if it worth it to keep going or if
i should just give up right here and right now
shes hurt more then ive been hurt in years
i dont know how to cope. sorry this is really long
its somewhat an update of whats been happening with me
lately i just hope she realizes what she has lost.
shes hurt me to a point that i can't recover from.
she has no clue how hurt i am.
with all of that said
GOODBYE FOR NOW!!
STAY STRONG MY LOVELIES <3