Me deceiving me
Me deceiving me selfreflecting stories
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karlijnvanriets
karlijnvanriets My thoughts are like my curls
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
Selfreflecting thoughts in a poem

Me deceiving me

I'm a mess.

Don't know what is wrong with me,

everything I guess

Wanting to be somebody,

living with passion and with fun

Wanting to be somebody,

who isn't always on the run

I don't seem to be able

to get myself together,

always wondering, comparing,

wishing things were better

Knowing I can be my own saviour

Knowing I can be the one to change

To end my wondering and comparing,

start living and rearrange,

all the aspects of my life that are holding me back,

The things that make me insecure,

that make my soul turn black

I wasn't taught to love myself

Wasn't taught to believe,

in myself or in life in general

So I started to deceive

Deceive so I wouldn't have to face

the fears of really living

But that deceit is where I stopt,

stopt myself from giving

I withheld myself the chance,

in fear of missing it

I withheld myself the love,

afraid it wouldn't fit

Am I pretty?

Does it even matter?

Am I strong?

Strong enough to make things

better?

Am I smart?

At least enough to deceive,

everyone around me, to have them believe

Sometimes in my web of lies, I almost see it as an art,

to make everyone believe I'm pretty,

strong and smart.

When I think of the life I'm living,

all the people in my play,

wondering who really knows me,

wondering who will stay.

Why am I hiding? What's holding me back?

What's keeping me from really living?

From getting on track?

Trying to get hold of life

as it's roaring past me

Trying to believe,

I can set myself free

That I'm the one to believe in

I'm the one to love

There is no use in me decieving me

I have to stand above..

KvR

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