I've fallen in and out of love a couple times Enough to write more than just a couple rhymes
I've fallen in and out of love a couple times

Enough to write more than just a couple rhymes

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kaidenketner
kaidenketner Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   10 months ago
Long time coming

I've fallen in and out of love a couple times Enough to write more than just a couple rhymes

I've been abandoned by my dad a time or two But with him I've now given up, theres nothing else to do

I've watched my mom abandon me for an abusive man

I may not be the sharpest crayon But I'm up there just enough to understand That a lot of what happened isn't suppose to happen

No father figure I grew up to be my own These feelings didn't lead me straight to a microphone

First they lead me to tear open my skin

I’d look in the mirror and wonder where have I been I was so sad now with nowhere left to turn

Feeling better with every cut and burn

But eventually I aquired a tolerance It lead me to pipes and needles laced with happiness

The bullshit had The lights turned off for a little bit

I never knew one day I would have to face it

The meth addiction was hard but the way people made me feel was harder I would have traded my mind for a rock you want to barter?

I would have given up my life just to not have one Another suicidal kid just being done

Just another vacant kid emotions I had none I suppressed them down so much they were gone

I took everything I owned to pawn Video games memories are they worth a buck?

Let's go see and try my luck What a vicious cycle, oh What a place to be stuck

At least the drugs made my dad pay me attention He told me how much he cared at every intervention

I recall sleeping in my car And knowing my life was sub par

Everybody was worried about me But nobody could truly help me Because knowing I was at least being thought of

Made me feel like I knew something called love

Passing out in crack houses eventually my family gave up Finally they decided they had had enough

But at that time I didn't care if I was thought of anymore I was finally burnt out to the core

Death was coming I knew it would happen soon I had accepted the fact it was my impending doom

I loved watching my body and soul die But I couldn't ever escape myself lord knows I tried

I would have killed anybody just for another score I lost contact with my mind couldn't give you a tour Wasn't even sure it existed anymore

I had no idea the emptiness these actions would leave But that was for future me to perceive

I ended up in a jail cell Fitting in all to well I saw my own mentality Projected in front of my reality

I thought I don't want to be This way But getting sober made it harder to stay

Sorting out feelings I never wanted to face

Addiction isn't something I could just erase Not written in pencil but etched in pen

How did I think any of this would lead to being zen

My dad faded away again, I was no longer close to death He didn't care as long as I wasn't on meth

I have had to accept these things But I'm no longer a puppet I've cut the strings

Let drugs lead me so long How do I make actions on my own When I needed people the most so many left me alone

That's when I grabbed the microphone And started pouring my heart into words With nothing left to work towards

My arm closed shut and my mind opened wide I thought and I thought and I cried and I cried

Just let me know can I be happy and sober? I guess we will know when this song is over

can't even begin to plan My future when all I know is this past But at least I'm in control, at long last.

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