Presently Absent
Presently Absent absent stories
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kaceymackwriter
kaceymackwriter Faults are how we know we're human.
Autoplay OFF   •   3 months ago
I sort of fell into a massive depression over the weekend and its still affecting me while I'm stuck in school. It's causing me a ton of stress that is making it incredibly difficult to focus on every annoying thing that is due this week for me so I wrote this instead because I didn't know what to do and I had to find a way to stop crying because I failed my French test. Hope you enjoy it.

Presently Absent

Written by: @kaceymackwriter

My vision tumbles

My vision tumbles As I fall to the side.

My vision tumbles As I fall to the side. Head hits the pillow

My vision tumbles As I fall to the side. Head hits the pillow Veil of hair hides my eyes.

Somewhere to the side

Somewhere to the side Muffled music lightly plays

Somewhere to the side Muffled music lightly plays I'd pause it for silence

Somewhere to the side Muffled music lightly plays I'd pause it for silence If only my arm would raise.

But my body is frozen

But my body is frozen As tears stream down my face.

But my body is frozen As tears stream down my face. I cannot search for nowhere

But my body is frozen As tears stream down my face. I cannot search for nowhere Near is a single ounce of strength.

And taunting me

And taunting me From the far reaches of the room,

And taunting me From the far reaches of the room, Is a soul so sickeningly lost,

And taunting me From the far reaches of the room, Is a soul so sickeningly lost, Hollow, it wanders,

And taunting me From the far reaches of the room, Is a soul so sickeningly lost, Hollow, it wanders, Entrapped in this tomb.

It's torturous cry

It's torturous cry Is screaming to me

It's torturous cry Is screaming to me "Hunt down the stray,

It's torturous cry Is screaming to me "Hunt down the stray, It's not hard to see."

Do you understand?

Do you understand? Have you seen what I'm missing?

Do you understand? Have you seen what I'm missing? The search still continues

Do you understand? Have you seen what I'm missing? The search still continues While I am stuck wishing.

It's not just an empty quest,

It's not just an empty quest, A mocking spirit's mission

It's not just an empty quest, A mocking spirit's mission There's a plea of insanity

It's not just an empty quest, A mocking spirit's mission There's a plea of insanity If only I might listen.

But my brain still protests,

But my brain still protests, So eager in dismissal.

But my brain still protests, So eager in dismissal. Waving away in denial.

But my brain still protests, So eager in dismissal. Waving away in denial. Because I'm what is hidden.

I used to be someone.

I used to be someone. At least I think that I was.

I used to be someone. At least I think that I was. I think I was there,

I used to be someone. At least I think that I was. I think I was there, In everything that I loved.

Like the quotes on my wall

Like the quotes on my wall Or the books that I had.

Like the quotes on my wall Or the books that I had. I think that was me,

Like the quotes on my wall Or the books that I had. I think that was me, But I don't understand.

That messy blue paint,

That messy blue paint, And those colorful stickers,

That messy blue paint, And those colorful stickers, Trophies and art projects

That messy blue paint, And those colorful stickers, Trophies and art projects And walls full of pictures.

I know that was me.

I know that was me. So where the hell have I gone?

I know that was me. So where the hell have I gone? What part of me's left?

I know that was me. So where the hell have I gone? What part of me's left? Or is all of that lost?

My smile is bleak and fading.

My smile is bleak and fading. My eyes are lifeless voids.

My smile is bleak and fading. My eyes are lifeless voids. There's an empty pit

My smile is bleak and fading. My eyes are lifeless voids. There's an empty pit Where my stomach was

My smile is bleak and fading. My eyes are lifeless voids. There's an empty pit Where my stomach was And my veins are dark and barren roads.

Jagged stubs replaced my nails.

Jagged stubs replaced my nails. I can barely lift an arm.

Jagged stubs replaced my nails. I can barely lift an arm. Sparkling shadows

Jagged stubs replaced my nails. I can barely lift an arm. Sparkling shadows Cloud my view

Jagged stubs replaced my nails. I can barely lift an arm. Sparkling shadows Cloud my view When I stand and fall to harm.

Such an absent weight,

Such an absent weight, Where my heart used to be.

Such an absent weight, Where my heart used to be. That missing ring on my finger,

Such an absent weight, Where my heart used to be. That missing ring on my finger, Now a misplaced part of me.

So, who am I now?

So, who am I now? Am I the pain in my head?

So, who am I now? Am I the pain in my head? From the ribbons of stress

So, who am I now? Am I the pain in my head? From the ribbons of stress And every bead that I've bled?

Am I the tears on my face,

Am I the tears on my face, The ones to silently fall?

Am I the tears on my face, The ones to silently fall? Am I the constant screaming in my head,

Am I the tears on my face, The ones to silently fall? Am I the constant screaming in my head, While my gaze is fixed to the wall?

Am I the dark circles

Am I the dark circles Deep set under my eyes?

Am I the dark circles Deep set under my eyes? Or am I the bile at the back of my throat

Am I the dark circles Deep set under my eyes? Or am I the bile at the back of my throat Forged of dread and lies?

Am I a poet at all?

Am I a poet at all? Do these words have a meaning?

Am I a poet at all? Do these words have a meaning? Is all of this torture

Am I a poet at all? Do these words have a meaning? Is all of this torture From a malevolent demon?

Because I want to cry,

Because I want to cry, But the tears aren't there.

Because I want to cry, But the tears aren't there. And I long to scream

Because I want to cry, But the tears aren't there. And I long to scream Past my vacant stare.

There are words in my mind.

There are words in my mind. Yet they died in my throat.

There are words in my mind. Yet they died in my throat. I know how to swim

There are words in my mind. Yet they died in my throat. I know how to swim But I can't stay afloat.

And now I'm stuck in space

And now I'm stuck in space Shrieking to no avail.

And now I'm stuck in space Shrieking to no avail. There's a husk in my place,

And now I'm stuck in space Shrieking to no avail. There's a husk in my place, Where I used to be

And now I'm stuck in space Shrieking to no avail. There's a husk in my place, Where I used to be And I'm suffocating without air.

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