It's not a fun concept
And it often runs hand in hand with anxiety.
No I am not only sad.
I just sometimes feel like this monotonous chorus of echoing chaos is a never ending cycle of loneliness and desperation.
Yes I have a reason for being depressed.
But I don't want to be judged by another for feeling this way over losing my best friend & the love of my life. But everyone always says I will get over it and I will be a better person for it.
How do you get over losing someone that means so much?
He was the one who made me smile every morning when I woke up. The one who pulled me into his arms when I was cold. The one who kissed my forehead when I had headaches that just won't go away.
I am not depressed because I am alone.
I am depressed because I feel hopeless. And being alone has nothing to do with that. Because I am not alone. I am very much surrounded by people I know love and care for me. But it is hopeless.
Silence is either promising or fear inducing.
Its a constant back and forth of "Am I okay with it?" Or "Get the fuck out I can't take this" Its scary how much I lose trying to gain.
I am not happy.
But not because of those of you who care and something you may think you did. I am not happy because I feel like I no longer have a purpose. And that is no one's fault but my own.