× ~·𝕯𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝕭𝖆𝖐𝖐𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖓·~ × 𝙱𝚊𝚔𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚗 (バックシャン) : 𝙰 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝. 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎 : 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎, 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝.
𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 : 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚢𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 “𝚖𝚛𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍” 𝚊𝚗𝚍 “𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚠𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚌𝚊𝚔𝚎” (𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝) 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙼𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚣. 𝚂𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌. 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢.
Standing back, looking at the mirror, seeing what I lack. Feeling unsure about my imperfect body. I feel ugly, whether you try to convince me. Because at the end of the day, i'll hate myself in every single way. I keep hearing whispers, everyone keeps gossiping about me.
They keep telling me to have... Pale flawless skin. Double eyelids. V-line face shape with a small chin. A nose with a thin bridge. A tall and thin figure. And list goes on and on...
My name has been slandered, all because of these ridiculous and unrealistic beauty standards. So please tell me... Is it true that pain is beauty? Does a new face come with a warranty? Will a pretty face make this better? All of the suggestions from everyone is giving me peer pressure. I’m so sick of these situations, I guess the only way to end this is to get some operations.
Once there, I was feeling a bit nervous but, everyone keeps telling me that they have such great service. The plastic surgeons kept telling me ; “all of this surgery is worth it, you’ll just have to endure the pain for a bit”. “all of this surgery comes with a fee because nothing comes for free”.
“but, I’m sure it will all be a guarantee, trust me”. It hurts but, when the procedures are done, I’m sure that all of my imperfections shall all be gone. The operations are done. My face feels so numb but, I take a peek of the results. Wait... What have I become?
Wondering why I don’t look like the pictures. I stared at the mirror, I had to see it clearer. I couldn’t believe my eyes, everyone was telling me such beautiful lies. Trying hard to recognize, the face behind those eyes. Everyone keeps telling this was all a guarantee but, I strongly disagree.
It can't be undone, I don't want to be near anyone. I should’ve read the warnings... I just wished that I loved myself for who I truly was right in the beginning, now I’m hiding. I’m missing because I don’t want people to see my hideous face that I want to erase.