Destructive Dreams
Destructive Dreams  poem stories
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joyfully-jenn
joyfully-jenn full-time student & aspiring poet
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Life with an eating disorder. May be triggering to anyone who is recovering. Read with caution :)

Destructive Dreams

Mom says, “Gone for another run? I wish I had your motivation!”

No, mom, you don’t

You see I have to punch in those miles in order to justify the five almonds and half cup of yogurt that I have planned for lunch

Even though my heart flutters with an unsteady beat and my skull feels like it’s to the brim with helium-filled balloons

Mom says, “You know you can take off your jacket, stay a while.”

But there’s a chill in my bones

It never leaves, no matter how many layers I pile on to my skeletal frame

And the spacious sleeves are the only way that I can hide my blue-tinged fingers

Mom says, “You look tired today.”

That’s because I can’t sleep

Between the pain of hunger doing somersaults in my stomach and my feeble heart pumping ice in my veins, sleep is an impossible feat

So instead of counting sheep, I count the number of sit-ups that my fatigued body can manage

Until I slip away into the comfort of my own destructive dreams

Jenna Smith

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