Where do I go from here?
On leave from work.
While they investigate me.
Look in to my self harming.
On a mission to get help.
What kind of help do I need?
I am a ship without a rudder,
lost in a wide and vast sea.
My map, compass, and the stars,
each leading me different ways.
An uncertain future in front.
I am frightened by the prospect.
Why couldn’t I just hold it back?
Why wasn’t I strong enough?
I let it get inside me again,
and now it is raging intensely.
Like a wildfire inside my mind.
How many acres are burning?
Not enough water to stop it.
Devastation. Hopefully, regrowth.
For now it is still going strong.
Anxiety, depression, pain.
Like a shadow looming over me.
It darkens everything I do.