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jon432cas
jon432cas Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Sometimes things are not what they seem to be. On the outside im strong, independent, and moral. But the truth is im not. Im not strong because there's times I think its better for me to not be in the picture at all. Independent is what i wish i could accomplish. And last but not the least moral.

Sometimes things are not what they seem to be. On the outside im strong, independent, and moral. But the truth is im not.

Im not strong because there's times I think its better for me to not be in the picture at all. Independent is what i wish i could accomplish. And last but not the least moral.

If i could count the times ive been questioned about my mortality youd think im depressed. The truth of the matter is yes.. Im depressed....

Ive learned to try and control my emotions but sometimes they control me. My wife who ive fallen in love with, I feel sometimes she rather not want anything to do with me.

To me thats the hardest pill to swallow. I wake up in the morning and think "will this be the last time i see my wife and kids." Only because in my line of work you may not come home.

I do mess up and when i do I know. Whether it's Pornhub, weird numbers calling on my phone, suspicious transaction's, coming home late, talking in code. I can see how it can be misconstrued.

But the truth is..I love my wife and kids and want nothing more in this world but to give them best and be apart of the lives. I'd die for them...

Sometimes even thats not enough to stop how i feel about living...

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