What if I end my life
What if I end my life  death stories
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jibinjossy
jibinjossy Try and Explore
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
I jumped, you joked.
I was down, you Laughed.
I was Stressed, you parted company.
No peace in my mind,
No peace in my heart,
The quite intelligent me,
long since Surpassed.

Why didn’t, I shout louder?
Why couldn’t you hear?
I was all alone every second,
All alone in my fear.
I; stuck in my pain and harrow.
How long had it been?
Well I guess I don’t know.

My burden I carried in an invisible case.
I suffered in silence with a smile on my face.
A myriad questions, umpteen words unspoken.
I didn’t know, that my life was so broken.

One question haunted without exception,
Ached to be answered and it’s: WHY?
I don’t understand, why God lets me to live.
My cries fell on deaf ears.
No one realizes my fears.
No one understands my fatal change,
All hearts seem out of range.

It calls me closer, it calls me near,
“just once and it’ll be over”
Death whispers in my ear.
Irresistible is its sweet entice.
Staring down, which one to slice.
What if I end my life?

Slowly! Slowly! I led myself away,
From all warmth and love day by day
Without warning or sign, will venture to a world divine
I did this to ease my pain,
I lost instead of gain.

I hear a scream, I hear a moan
I want my family, I’m all alone.
I hear loud cry, muffled inconsolable sobs.
Sitting & staring, no friend makes a sound,
“Sorry” is all to all I say.
Mother’s heartbroken; my father is shattered.
Finding me like that, all hopes battered.
My face is embedded in their hearts,
Writ large with infinite doubts.

A faint faraway voice, I hear someone calling,
Brighter now, getting brighter still.
I feel myself escaping from this hell.
When all of a sudden, I feel my own breath.
I woke up and noticed, it was only a dream.
Suddenly I realize my life’s not as bad as it seemed.
My thoughts all a muddle,
Like the one struggling in a puddle.
I still manage a smile,
And close my eyes for a while.

I find out, that I didn’t believe in me,
Engulfed in shame, I say forgive me,
for what I failed to see.
When the thought, “what if I end my life?”
Ever creeps in my mind,
I find it unbearable to take.

I reached for you, but I ran away,
Like the deep crest of a wave.
Hold back those tears, please don’t cry.
Don’t make this any harder, for anyone tonight.
I promise me, there will be a future.
For there to be a future, I must stay alive.
No one can define, who you’re.
Fightback with whatever you have.
Life shoved me down.
Telling me, you’ll not be able to get up,
Instead I’ll get that pain into a nap.
Won’t wallow in grief, instead will believe.

Now I know, how to balance my life.
Want to jump? I’ll Skyfall.
Want to shoot? I’ll Paintball.
Want to hang? I’ll Bungee.
Want to overdose? I’ll Party
Don’t blame yourself,
You raised yourself right.
You messed up everything.
It is part of life, just strive.
It’ll take time, but it’ll be right.
What we want, we’ll make it happen.
My time is bad, not my life.
It just needs struggle.
An indomitable spirit, let your dreams be high.
And everything will be without a sigh.

What if I end my life

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