If you have read my past stories then you will understand the background of this. I come from a family that's quite problematic such as many of us. My parents are alcoholics.
They don't become abusive to me, luckily. My dad said that he quit smoking to my brother but I know that he actually still does.
And my brother didn't know that he was still smoking until an hour ago. An hour ago, something happened. I heard a loud thud but thought it was of no significance.
And about 10 or 20 minutes later my mom comes to my room. She told me that my dad fell into the mud outside.
And she was rambling about how my brother blames her for my dad smoking and drinking and how it's all her damn fault. I ask if he's okay and go downstairs to check on him.
He seemed fine but his dumb ass decided to get drunk and stumble backwards many times while trying to get back inside the house.
This caused my brother to get more upset with my mom for buying the drinks and letting my dad drink to this hefty amount (My dad has many health problems and my brother is worried since
the alcohol and smoking will worsen it). I went upstairs since I couldn't handle how idiotic it was. I care for my dad but it was his fault for drinking so much. He has a mind of his own.
He could've stopped whenever he wanted but nope. It was his choice and the actions were also his choice. I went directly to my room and played creative mode in Fortnite.
As soon as I start free building I just break down. Tears streaming down my face. I tried asking my best online friend to 1v1 so I can calm down but she said no as she usually does.
So I ask in a public cord if anyone wants to 1v1 and no one wants to. So there I am, free building, feeling worse than ever.
My mom comes into my room and talks about how she's leaving the house for a bit since no one loves her and since my brother blames her for everything. She kisses me and hugs me goodbye.
Then she went downstairs and comes back a few minutes later. And I ask what she wants and she says she's leaving again. So I ask where she's going and she says she's going to heaven.
After she leaves I just sit there. Blank for a few seconds before tears once again leave my eyes. This time a heavy flow. This time, it didn't stop until I finally managed to calm down a bit.
And she comes into my room again. I'm standing up and petting my cat and she gets on my nerves since I already feel like trash for causing so much shit for her by being born.
I tell her to leave and to please get out while my voice was cracking and breaking down.
I meant to leave my room but couldn't voice it since my voice was already cracking and could barely form words.
But she yelled back that she's leaving and how everyone wants her to leave I've literally cried so many times today. I barely ever cry unless something like this happens.
I thought she was gonna leave the house and maybe commit suicide. That's the third time tonight that I thought she was gonna kill herself.
Having your mom say that to your face is something no one would understand without having it happen to them. And you better hope you never experience it.
I heard my brother crying downstairs telling my mom to not leave. And hearing that made it so much worse. I honestly felt like giving up hope on happiness here.
Just to leave the world but I know it brings no benefits to anyone and might make things worse. Even thought about how I'd do it. Didn't go through with it though.
Would've most likely been painful so I was discouraged. And I didn't want to make any noise incase someone decided to come up if they heard me in pain.
After that my brother came upstairs and asked if I was crying. Of course, I said no.
He came closer and said I was and he asked what our mom said and I just told him I didn't feel like talking about it right then.
I asked him if he wanted to play Fortnite with me and he said he was bummed out. So I went to play solos and died both times.
My mom came in two times after that and I ignored her since I'm still mad at her. Just talking to her or my dad right now makes me pissed.
To make matters better, my best online friend said no to playing with me but says yes to playing with some other person. Yay... Talk about an amazing day.
Wanna know what makes it 10 times better? School is starting tomorrow. Amazing, huh?