Something Random
Something Random health stories
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jaxjax
jaxjax This is u53rn4m3
Autoplay OFF   •   21 days ago
might need a TW, unsure
a bit about my mental health... hope that you are all well

Something Random

I cannot change how my mental health has been constantly going downhill

I have had my fill of so many things

Everyone wanting participation rings for everthing they don't work for

Acceptance limited everywhere

Everyone is supposed to have the person that makes them a special pair- a couple if you will- to make them whole

Why do I have to fulfill this role of being with a person who identifies as and was born male?

Nightmares about school shootings, seeing people I love die and worse things- all been happening for so long I'm nearly immune to it

For a short bit of my life- 2-4 months- I even dreamt of torturing others

When I mutter that I'm not a good person, I beseech of you: believe me.

Have I always had some form of dysphoria?

Will I ever feel euphoria or genuine happiness again?

People call me beautiful but I feel as though they are entranced with the mystery of my sadness, like a wren on a winter floor

Or maybe I'm wrong

Probably have been all along

Am like a ping pong ball, never in the same place each hour, emotionally

This doesn't mean that my mental health is detiorating

Right?

Right?!

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