You do not have to wait
You can simply make a choice
You can simply make a difficult choice.
The choice to let life take you down the river
The choice to let life take you down the river or to create your own path through woods and over rivers.
Everyone has made choices for you so far
Choices like which lifestyle you live
Influencing your choices in thoughts and ideas.
Now, YOU decide these things.
Sure, they still are influencing your decisions and thoughts
But you have the power, more so now than when you were younger, to allow that to keep happening.
You have the power over all decisions you have now.
And no one has shown you how to make those decisions.
I may be sixteen, but I know that exact struggle.
If you can manage the small things, you can manage the big things.
Some decent parents know and understand the feeling of wanting to belong.
Whether or not they have helped you to understand this sense of having to belong or act right, however, is a different discussion.
You are faking your smile to help others, maybe to help belong.
Find things, discover yourself, if you want to change, create your life.
If you cannot smile, don't
If you like something and want to know more about it, know more about it
Find what makes your heart smile
There you shall find your core, your happiness, your life.
Of course, you could let life happen.
Be whatever you feel like life wants you to be
Smile- life says
<fake smile> you do in return of life's words
Like those girls, listen to others, and somehow still be going against life in some areas of life, yup.
You can still find what makes you happy
All this knowledge on top of everything else is difficult
So, when you wake up tomorrow, breathe.
Tell yourself what you hope to accomplish, or what you hope happens
Stress yourself a bit whilst deciding which song/book/exercise/thought to start the day off with
If you want a good day, or an okay day, start with something that you find relaxing, good, and burden lifting.
As you proceed from day to day, find a way to recollect one good thing from each day
That way, when you have to fake smiles again, you can look back and say that there is always something good in every day and always a reason to smile