I realized some devastating information that literally changed my world ..
I had to endure the pain of being lied to..
from someone I’ve known for a very long time. I felt misled, used and misunderstood.
This news angered me..
I was pissed and wanted revenge immediately. I felt betrayed and couldn’t figure out why it was being done this way to me.
I was broken, my world shaken ..
and I couldn’t get out of the pain. I cried for days and in spurts with lots of moments of sadness..
My thoughts ran wild like a raging horse..
I wanted my inner peace back but it was certainly disturbed by the devastation.
I hadn’t felt pain like this in about 6 months...
fter we made our decision to divorce and I didn’t expect this Phase 2 to happen because I was doing so well thus far.
I wanted my life back and my joy was disrupted.
There was a huge connection to someone I thought was my friend that I had to break again. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to be chosen and to work on things but I was rejected.
MY heart was broken again..
MY heart was broken again. I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. I wondered why this was happening this way, What did I do to get myself into the situation and I wanted out..
I had to go away work to a fabulous city..
but i didn’t even get to really enjoy it because of the pain I felt inside. I put on my mask for work and I knew I was being less than my normal joyful self.
I was losing time and not making the most of my days..
Yet, I never stopped fighting.
The thing about joy, when you have it inside,..
your outside circumstances don’t matter. you can be going through the roughest and worst time in your life but the joy will never die.
It reminds me of a light burning inside...
that can never be put out because you keep it alive in your heart. My joy wouldn’t allow me to completely give up. I was hurt but I wasn’t dead. I was broken but I was not defeated.
I was in pain but my heart still loves.
I was rejected but my mind was still could look forward to a bright future. I knew I would get out of it.
I decided to surrender the situation to God. This is key!
I gave it to God…the thoughts, the situation. I spoke it and said have your way. A day or two later, I had the worst night. I cried all night, the pain inside was heavy on my heart.
it didn’t matter that my pain seemed greater.
I understand that my purpose was more important than my pain and I had to begin serving my purpose again and I couldn’t endure this anymore.
The lesson was to make things right..
despite what you think someone did to you. The heavy weight had been lifted. Thank GOD!!! See more at: http://www.jamieenglish.org/love-lessons/home/#sthash.jDPaFzq6.dpuf