A Vulnerable Life – A Life of Vulnerability
A Vulnerable Life – A Life of Vulnerability stories
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jamieenglishorgAuthor. Life Mentor. Speaker.
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago

A Vulnerable Life – A Life of Vulnerability

There was a time in my life where everything about me was super private..

It was a barrier that I put up early in my childhood years..

in an attempt to not let people get too close to me. . I would hide my feelings, my emotions, my true self, my pain and even my words.

No one really knew the whole truth about me.

I wouldn’t allow people to know certain things that were going on inside.

Because of this” protective layer” or so I thought,..

I didn’t know my truest self and my full potential because I didn’t tap into the deeper truth of me.

wasn’t until I decided that I was tired of hiding who I was

and hiding my life experiences. This new concept only came when I shed all of these false beliefs through pain.

It was a time in my life where I felt that I lost ..

almost everything. I was unemployed, in marital separation, broke, unsettled and I did not know which direction my life was going.

Through that pain..

desperation and having to depend on other family members for support .was the moment that I decided to shed the dead weight…the cover.

This gave me a new sense of freedom..

because I didn’t have to hide anymore. My life was exposed. What I was going through was exposed.It got to a point where I could no longer cover it up.

The Things I Shed.. Freedom of Negative Music

So I began to just be me.am a lover of Alternative Christian music and I stopped hiding it because my friends and family didn’t listen to that kind of music

They would expect me to listen to the music they listened to

I knew I would become subjected with their ridicule because they didn’t like it but I didn’t care about that anymore because I like what I like.

Freedom of Racial Isolation

I felt so alone many times in the rural community I lived in with my family..my spouse didn’t want to participate in any family activities with us

I needed something more and was led to a Mennonite church..

If you know anything about Mennonite churches, you’d know they are majority white churches and very modest worshipping was done.

It was very different than the churches I’ve been to..

but I needed God and to be in the midst of God and His people so I started going weekly with my daughter.

I was the only black person there...

most times and it was certainly a challenge getting all kinds of looks each week because I stood out like a sore thumb but I chose to shed my fears and go anyway.

Freedom of My Circumstances

I began to confide in wise counsel about my circumstances as to how my life was unfolding during adversity. Some people I confided in with were friends & I became comfortable telling the truth

Freedom of Speech

There was a time where I was afraid to say what was on my heart and mind. I would just agree with others just for the sake of not speaking and I’d hardly ever share my own opinion.

I had a fear off their reactions...

to my thoughts and my spoken words. When I removed the mask, I removed this limiting belief.

Now, I speak with wisdom and realize I have nothing to hide.

nothing to prove, nothing to protect and nothing to defend. When you can operate this way, you enter a new level of self acceptance and you are ok if others do not agree with you.

Freedom with Vulnerability

What I Learned by Shedding the Mask and Exposing My Vulnerable Side, I became free. I no longer hide if I am in pain.I don’t hide if I am facing challenges or adversity.

I am not ashamed of the suffering ultimately..

because I now know it births a greater purpose.So I can be who I am and speak about what I chose to speak about and say what I need wot say with love and respect.

The mask has been destroyed and I’ve never felt better.

If you suffer with wearing a mask, remove it! Destroy it. It no longer serves you in fact it never did.

Be who you are! Love who you are!

Get to know your inner self and let your light shine freely! - See more at: http://www.jamieenglish.org/love-lessons/a-vulnerable-life-a-life-of-vulnerability/#sthash.8OFwIjC7.dpuf

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