A lifetime ago i was confident, happy and laughing...
........ and then
I became blind
Isolated and Alienated myself
Trauma lingered ln my habits and memories left by evil souls, inflicted for reasons I'll never know - became too much to bare
A young man led astray, (or so i was repeatedly told)
Within the depths of my mind - brewing away in the subconscious, and reinforced by reality - A dangerous concoction of horrific memories of abuse and torment, abandonment and betrayal of my infant self by the ones who are named as protectors and guardians. Topped up with foreign toxic chemicals of mood altering substances flooding the mind of a teenage boy in puberty
A devils soup for the mind of a growing young man, eating away at his confidence and self esteem; replacing it with paranoia, depression and crippling anxiety. All of which goes unseen to the world, but manifests in the minds of others as hatred for you, and labelled as a lazy addict (among many other degrading remarks). Socially awkward and misunderstood, I'm an outcast now -
Only truly comfortable and at peace when alone - aware of the hatred directed towards me.
An addicted from birth, dependent on drugs long before legally allowed to make decisions. But i never gave drugs to children - i know better i never beat a child black and blue - i know better never did i batter a little boy with an iron bar - i knew better
I would never abandon a child; never torment nor abuse a innocent - i know better never would i molest a child - i know better i would never betray my young defenceless, impressionable son - i know better
Abusers are respected by society - their dirty little secrets safely under-wraps . But i see you And i know i am better.