When I was a young one I was drawn to him like a magnet, I thought he was the superhero of my story. I believed all his words when he’d lure me in with his charm and alluring personality.
I remember I would always sit on his lap, sway back and forth oblivious to the sex appeal attached to my actions.
I also remember in the grocery store, I’d skip down the aisles while holding his strong hands with joy and comfort.
When the skies were furious and thunder roared, I’d franticly run to his side and he’ll hold me so well, hold me with all his might. He was after all, my legal guardian.
I never saw another face when I lived with that man, I wasn't able to leave or even look out the window without a good slap on the face and a slap on other body parts.
When he wasn't hurting me, he was making "love" to me and that hurt me even more. And his words, oh his devil words taunted me with every letter his villain mouth pronounced.
Mind games after mind games after mind games, I lost my purity. I was his love and he was the only man I had, the only arms I was able to reach out to and that's what was so evil.
Despite the disturbing and creepy acts he pulled on me, despite the abuse of control, despite the fact that he took full advantage of a little girl and ruined her innocence,
there is still devotion and passion for that man. I hate you Humbert Humbert, but god damn it, you are the only soul I could ever whimper and hold onto.